Depending on the culture you were brought up in, your beliefs, and of course the reasonable expectations of your family, a parent may or may not have influence over who or how their child marries. Arranged marriages are quite popular in some parts of the world, in others, they’re not popular at all.
That said, in western countries, influence can be had to various degrees. While most would agree their child can marry who and how they like provided they genuinely love the person, they may wish to have some influence, or at least provide some help and guidance, to the child they love so much. Influence doesn’t have to be domineering after all, it can simply take the form of a living suggestion.
In some cases, it might take the shape of a condition. For instance, you might be happy to pay for part of the wedding completely if it means your child chooses a relatively local venue, so their grandparents can attend and not have to travel overseas. This is a fair condition to have and is in no way ‘over the top.’
So – where else can healthy influence be found? In this post, we’ll consider some examples of that:
Helping Discuss the Choice to Propose
If your child suggests that they want to propose, it can be good to have a conversation about it. Providing your support as a default is important of course, but also asking them if this is what they really want to make sure, if they can see the rest of their life with their partner, and where they plan to do it will be nice. It’s always good to help someone you care about talk through their options when they’re making a big life change – mostly only to know that they have thought about it, and they are sincere. Asking them to vocalize this can also remove any hesitant worries they might have been holding onto.
Going Ring & Outfit Shopping
It can be nice to help them plan the proposal and engagement, or at least helping them invest in worthwhile rings, like 3 carat diamond rings at Whiteflash. Perhaps you can help them go and have their suit fitted for the marriage in the best way. Helping them boost their confidence is always a lovely gesture and shows they should never feel nervous.
Recce Locations
It’s also fun to recce locations. This might mean checking out a few open hotel venues, or somewhere a little unique like a wedding at your local seafront. Here you can check capacity, and even discuss planning provisions like where the entertainment might go, what resources the catering service will have access to, and from there, discussions about capacity and exactly who should be on the guest list. This last one can be important – as only a parent can help their child know who in the family will be a pleasant guest.
With this advice, you’re sure to influence just the right amount of planning in your child’s marriage, a friend and ally to the end.
*This is a collaborative post
