30.11.19

The Ultimate Guide To Being Prepared For Life's Curveballs

Every now and then, life will throw you a curveball. These tend to be traumatic events that can send our otherwise normal and mundane, yet happy existence into a tailspin. It is how you deal with these situations that will dictate how they affect your mental health, your well being and your relationships. Many people seem to be constantly on edge, waiting for the next curveball to come along. However, living like this means that you never get to fully enjoy life’s offerings. Instead, you need to think positively and have a forward thinking frame of mind.

Being a worrier can make a curveball’s impact all the more pronounced. Instead of panicking about what might or might not happen in the future, you need to live in the here and now. This is the very essence of mindfulness. Life is full of luck - some of us will have one or two curveballs to navigate in our lifetimes whereas others will be batting them off regularly. Read on to discover the sorts of curveballs that you might face and take a look at some strategies you can arm yourself with to help you overcome the curveballs that might be coming for you.


Redundancy
Losing your job can be one of the most soul destroying things that you ever have to go through. Even though your skillset is strong, you are working hard and you are an expert in your field, your confidence can still be sapped because someone has let you go. Becoming a job seeker once again is terrifying especially when it was through no choice of your own. You will also have the additional financial worries that being out of work brings. Hopefully, your redundancy settlement will have been generous, but it won’t be enough to live off forever. If you do find that you are out of work for a little longer than you’d like and your savings pot is getting worryingly low, consider seeking out a company like New Horizons for a loan without a guarantor. This means you won’t have to rely on anyone else securing your loan, and you can pay back any money you borrow over a time period that suits you.

Once your finances are a little more stable, you can focus fully on your job situation. You need to feel challenged and professionally fulfilled. That can often mean getting back onto the job bandwagon. For some, that means looking for a similar job role. For others, this is a great opportunity to try something new. Up-skilling can cost money initially and you may need to start in a more entry level position if you are swapping sectors, but your job satisfaction can go through the roof. Be logical and check out those industries crying out for personnel, and opt for one of these roles. This means that your skills will be highly sought after and you have a greater chance of securing a position.

You might want to forego the employment route altogether and use this opportunity to start your own business. Plenty of people who have been made redundant, use their financial package to fund a startup, whether this is crafting bespoke and personalised jewellery or providing accountancy services to IT contractors. The world is your oyster. A positive situation can always be found from a negative curveball.


Relationship Breakdown
Relationships often fizzle out. However, when they end abruptly and in a messy way, they can be horrific and really knock your confidence. You may suddenly feel all alone and isolated. It doesn’t matter whether you or your partner ended the relationship, the immediate period of readjustment following a relationship breakdown can be tough to navigate.

Consider going down the cliched route and going to the salon. Change up your hairstyle, go to a spa and spend some time on you, have a reiki massage and buy yourself a new wardrobe. Investing in you is paramount at this time in your life. While you may feel sad and you might even grieve for your relationship, you need to realise that this is a time where you can reassess what you want in life. Are you happy where you are living? Are there some new hobbies that you want to partake in? Do you want to spend more time with your friends? Now that you have no one else to consider, you can be a little more selfish and work out what it is that you really want from life. Only when you’re ready and over your previous relationship should you consider dating again.


Bereavement
The hardest curveball to bear is when a loved one dies. You will be confronted with your own mortality and potential regrets will surface. Did you spend enough time with your loved one? Do they know that you loved them? These are natural questions that you may ask yourself. Ensure that you use your support network when you are grieving. There is no set time frame for grief. Most places of work do allow for compassionate leave, but don’t expect to be back to your usual self after a week or two.

Sudden bereavement can be even more traumatic. The shock can be terrifying and you may feel lost physically and mentally. If you need an objective ear to help you with your grief, get in touch with a counsellor and discuss your feelings. A problem shared really is a problem halved, and while you may sob, cry, get angry and rant, you will feel unburdened as you discuss how you are feeling. Bottling up emotions can lead to mental health problems and depression.

If the bereavement is within your family, spend some time with those closest to you. Share memories, stories and anecdotes. These will help you laugh and cry. Being open to your emotions is vital if you are to work through your grief. It may take months or years, but eventually you will come to remember the person who has died with a smile rather than with tears.

Life is joyful most of the time. However, when it does throw you a curveball, recognise it for what it is and tell yourself that you can and will get over it. What doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing. I agree with you that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger after looking back at my own life!

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  2. Cheers - one never knows when life going to get tough - always good to face head on

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  3. My wife suffers from stress and anxiety - one phrase I keep repeating when she worries is, "99% of everything you worry about will never happen"....
    An extremely good life tool....

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  4. More very sensible advice. Thank you. I am pleased to see relationship breakdowns included as they can be every bit as devastating as any other type of loss.

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