11.10.19

Ways To Help You Stay Safe When Dating

Photo credit: Mayberry Health and Home

When it comes to online safety and particularly when it comes to dating and companionship we like to think we know what we're talking about. But some simple things online can spiral and make the scene unsafe. I thought I'd write a few tips to help you stay safe when dating...

Know where you stand
What do you want from dating? Love, fun, companionship. If you're more adventurous, you can look up fetish sites, and if you're just looking for fun, then there are websites for that too. Be honest with yourself. Everyone is different and a relationship that might suit you, might not fit someone else. So it's important that you go into dating with your eyes fully open as to what you want. 

Just make sure you research which is best for what you want. Subs and Doms, for instance, is great if you're looking to be a part of the BDSM community, and can help you find the right person for you. 

Embrace your inner stalker
You need to remind yourself that you know absolutely nothing about the person you're about to meet, apart from what they've said on their profile, and this might not always be true. Fortunately there are a number of things you can do to get more information about them, and being online makes this a lot easier. 

Find them on Facebook, but don't add them as a friend. You can gather a lot of information about someone from their Facebook profile, or Twitter and Instagram for that matter. Do you have mutual friends? If so, ask your friends about them. Do their posts match up with how they're presented themselves to you. You can even reverse image search their profile pictures to make sure they are actually who they say they are. 

Look out for the warning signals
No matter how long you've known someone online, you should be on the lookout for any warning signals that they're not who they are portraying...

  • Are they asking for your address 'to send gifts'.
  • Talking a lot about the bad luck they are experiencing, and money they need to help with their problems. 
  • Asking you to come off the dating site and talk via a different system.
  • Early declarations of love.
  • Anything that just feels off...

Tell your friends about your online dating
Share a few details with your closest friends and ask them if they can identify any red flags, along the way. If they show concern, take that concern seriously. Write down your plans if you're going on a date, so your friends know where to find you, if they need to. And ask them to give you a call about halfway through so they know you're safe. 

Most importantly, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. People can create dream personas online, copy your likes and dislikes, and follow your conversations to really make you want to take things further. If anything sounds strange or unbelievable, ask questions, as many as you want. If the person is genuine, they'll likely want you to know more about them. If they're defensive, then maybe they're nit right for you...

5 comments:

  1. Good tips thanks x There are some horrible people out there!

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  2. I met my lovely other half online, through Facebook, but it took a long time, I wasn't looking, and everyone before that, who I met online where 'iffy' :( I had never used a paid site so maybe that would have helped x

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  3. I've made some good friends through the Internet but have always been wary before meeting them. Luckily never needed to try internet dating but some great tips here.

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  4. Always a worry ! Thanks for the tips

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  5. Personally I would never do online dating. My dad joined a dating agency when I was a teenager. I haven't forgotten how that all went. Although he did meet HIS ideal partner eventually - met her in the June and they married in the September. So she became my step-mum and we moved in with her and her family. My step-mum and I couldn't stand each other. My eldest daughter was using online dating for ages. She put on her profile that she didn't want anyone that already had children and they had to have their own transport. That didn't go down well. She never gave her address on first dates. Eventually she met someone that really makes her happy and he has moved in with her

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