If you are planning a wedding, then you can see that there are reasons why many people take years before they are actually married. There is a lot to sort and organise. The wedding itself can take a lot of planning and organising. But then there are a lot of other things that needed to be sorted before you walk down the aisle. You need to get a marriage license, as well as see a registrar to sort out of all the side of things. You might need to relocate as a result of getting married, as you might need a larger home. So a house move thrown in can make things quite stressful. There are a few questions that you need to ask yourselves before you get married, though. Here are a few important questions that you need to consider before you get married.
Where will you be living?
As I have just mentioned, you might decide to move house before, or just after you get married. You might be two families coming together, so a larger house for step-children might be needed, for example. You might be from different regions and have been living apart to start with. So if you aren’t already living together, then there are some questions to ask. Will you live in between where you both work, or will just one of you commute? If so, where will you live? Deciding where you want to live is important and ideally, needs to be sorted out before you get married.
Before you get married, you might need to find a quality solicitor, if you want to get a prenuptial agreement, for instance. But this all needs to be decided and talked through with your other half. There are other legal things to decide too. Will one of you be changing your last name? Will you have a joint surname or not change either of them? The answers to these questions should be done before you get married really. Then you can sort them out (or not) as soon as you can after you are married.
You might also want to think about sorting out a will or life insurance before you get married. It might seem a bit doom and gloom to plan these things before you get married. But they are important questions to think about as you start your new life together. It is a good idea to know each other’s opinions on these kinds of topics. Then you can start off your new marriage in a positive way.
One of the reasons why people argue or even get divorced is because of money. Money and finances are important, and they affect our everyday life. So it is wise to start openly discussing this before you get married. Before now, you might have split things pretty evenly or just each paid for your own things. Going forward will it stay that way? Will you split up who pays for what after you are married? This could change depending on mortgage or rent, as well as what each of you earns. So be honest and open and make it an easy topic to talk about.
You also need to decide if you will get a joint account, for example, too. If you want to go down that route, then what will it be used for? Will you both put in a certain amount each month? It might be worth starting the conversation about what your parents did. Did one parent sort the bills and one sort groceries and other spending? When two different people from two different backgrounds come together, there is a lot to discuss. So seeing what you were both raised with can help.
This doesn’t necessarily need to happen before you get married, but knowing what type of traditions you are used to is a good idea. No doubt from your dating you will already know a few. But it is a bit different when you start your own family and want to make a mixture of each or tweak the traditions that you both grew up with. Then at least you will both know what to expect. If one of you expects certain things for a birthday and it doesn’t happen, it can lead to arguments. So set things out simply before you start.
None of these things that you discuss will be set in stone. But having a plan to start with can get your marriage off on the right foot. You can revisit it every so often, as jobs and life change things. Good luck!