18 April 2016

My Top Tips For Reconnecting With Your Partner

When it comes to relationships, they can be complicated, they can be annoying, they can be upsetting. But they can also be uplifting, worthwhile and the best thing ever. Building and sustaining a healthy relationship is half of the battle when it comes to being a couple and you always have to work at it to make sure that you are on track. 

Then becoming parents wades in and everything is thrown out. Everything is focused on the children and partners can feel left behind. I know this all too well. Me and my husband have been together for over 11 years and married nearly 8. Throughout this time, with babies, miscarriages, it has been hard, very hard in fact at times.

Being up children just seems to take over and you lose that intimacy that you once had. I mean, according to research commissioned by Vagisil ProHydrate, 72% of women with children under five, say children & family life limits time available for intimacy in their relationship. 

Check out this video 'The Intimate Truth' to see more of the stats from this research:

It seems like once we become parents, being a couple just stops and we no longer have that bond. But that shouldn't be the case. You can be a parent and part of a partnership at the same time, it's all about just making time, putting in the effort, and like I mentioned above, working at it. 

What works for one couple might not for you, but it's about time we tried, and put our relationships first for a change. So here are my tips for reconnecting with your partner.

Make Your Relationship a Priority
This had to be the top one obviously. Make sure your relationship is up there with making sure the kids are fed and watered. The top three things associated with ‘intimacy’ among women in a committed relationship are; ‘closeness’ (69%), ‘togetherness’ (65%) and ‘love’ (61%). You need to make sure that you give your partner some of your time, to just be together. If you don't work at it, then it will not work!

Create You Own Couples Rituals
Okay, you're not going to start any ritual killings or anything here! What I mean is that you should do something regularly that bonds you together. A date night at your favourite restaurant, watching a comedy whilst stuffing your face with popcorn, or even just setting 10 minutes aside each day just to chat. Do something that fits in with you both. 

Put The Phone Down
We're in an age where the Internet runs everything. I mean, I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for it. But sometimes, it's just too much. Do you really need to be checking every update on Facebook or tweeting about the film you are watching? No! So, when you have time together, put the phone away and focus on what you are doing and each other. 

Schedule Some Private Time
I know, scheduling things doesn't make things as fun. But it doesn't need to be that way. The kids finish school at 3pm and your husband gets home from work at 2, then text him something racy before he gets home so, not only is it scheduled and you have that free time, but it's something to get you both excited about. 

Obviously after kids, the whole intimacy sage can change. Women change (I mean, we did shoot a kids out of there!) and dryness can effect how we feel. Vagisil’s new ProHydrate range relieves intimate dryness so that you can feel comfortable, confident and enjoy intimacy when you want to. The Vagisil ProHydrate range is available in Boots and Superdrug.

Give each other space
Yes, this is a weird one. How can you reconnect when you're not together, I hear you ask. Ever heard the saying 'absence makes that heart grow fonder', well it's true. Being in each others pockets 24/7 gets annoying. His habits start to grate on you and it's just not healthy to be together all the time. So, get your own hobby, do something you love. Meet some friends for a drink. Take it in turns to look after the kids so the other can let their hair down. It's amazing how pleasing it will be to get back to your partner when you've had that little break.

The Best Things in Life are Unsaid
Don't go on about it. If you're stressing about your relationship and constantly mentioning every little things, it will just make things worse. Instead, take the initiative. It doesn't have to be a big romantic gesture at all, just give your partner a cuddle, hold hands as you walk down the street. See where it leads!

Being in a relationship is hard work, but as long as you work at it as a team, you'll be fine!


  1. putting the phone down is a good one - we're terrible at that! Time away and regular date nights work for us too

  2. I think we could all do with a gentle reminder about this occasionally. I definitely need to put my phone down more! x

  3. It's hard when you have little ones. We try to eat dinner together and have grown up discussion and we have managed a few dinners and one night away thanks to my parents which really makes a difference.

  4. This was such a great reminder to work at our relationship. I am guilty of putting the kids above everything else.

  5. relationships are hard post children it really does take a strain and I don't think you always notice it at first and then the damage is done and it can be so hard to get back to where you were! Great tips though.

  6. fab tips, I think phones are a huge one for pushing people apart. It's hard when life and children just take over but important to remember to make time for each other x

  7. Phil and I are great at talking and at going on regular date nights, but we're both buggers for being on our phones and we do need to work on that xx

  8. I think these are great tips and important for couples who have been together for a long time - like me! Kids suddenly become priority, which is understandable, but it is definitely important for everyone to for parents to reconnect xx

  9. It's so difficult to keep a relationship fresh when there's everything else going on, I know we're guilty of just moaning to each other about our day, it's so important to just be a couple and leave the world out of it sometimes.

  10. Luckily at the moment me and my ither hlaf have a pretty good relationship but its so hard at time x

  11. Great tips
    The phone is a boggy with us

  12. Great tips
    The phone is a boggy with us