29 July 2015

Middle Child Syndrome

It's not often I would write a post like this, but a month ago I was looking at what I do all day and realised that there was one part missing, one part which made me feel so horrible inside. 

You see, my days are filled with blogging, sorting the kids and housework. 

A quick run down would be that I start off by getting the boys up, fed, cleaned and ready for school whilst also giving Joseph his bottle and changing him. Once they're at school, apart from sorting Joseph for a feed, he sleeps in the morning so I do some blogging. 

At lunchtime I pick Charlie up from nursery and he has lunch and then off he pops to play and I get on with more blogging and housework. Thomas is picked up at 3pm and then it's a rush of cooking dinner, playing on the Playstation with Thomas, reading, writing and doing homework with Thomas and then bath time before settling for bed. Throughout all this time, sorting Joseph and cleaning as I go.


Did you notice anything that was coming up short? I did... Charlie. My middle son, my middle child. He just doesn't seem to factor in much. 

I was heartbroken when I actually realised just how much he seemed to get ignored. Well, not ignored really but he just seemed to go with the flow and let both other boys get my attention. 

I know people always talk about the 'middle child syndrome' whereby the first child get attention as they're the first born, the third child gets attention as they're the last child but the middle child, they are just there, stuck 'in the middle' going with the flow. 

When I think back to when I was younger, I understand it too. My dad had 2 older daughters from a previous marriage but with my mum, he had a daughter, me and then my brother, essentially making me the middle child of our family. 

My sister was loud, always making sure she got the attention and of course my brother was the only boy so he was doted on, but I just seemed to get on with things. Everything passed down from my older sister and not really understood. 


Not gone, just forgotten... Okay, okay, I may be being just a little bit melodramatic, but when you're a child and your parents are focusing on helping your big sister with school work or cooing over your baby brother, it does make you feel a little ignored.

So I understood how Charlie was or would be feeling when he starts to realise that all peoples attention is placed on his older or younger sibling. 

It's now time to change!

If you read my blog regularly, you will realise that I no longer post new posts each day like I used to. This isn't because I have no content or nothing to wrote about (gosh, I still have our Cayton Bay holiday to write about) but it's because I have been trying to focus my attention on my middle child, making sure he doesn't feel left out. 

Now when he returns from school we get playing together. Whilst Joseph sleeps we play board games, with his cars, out in the garden and try to get as much fun in as possible. 

This has meant that my blogging has slowed down a little and I find myself being behind with posts which is now why I am trying to catch up by blogging at night taking up my free (usually watching television) time. 

This may meant that I now get no break for myself, but it's worth it to know that my children, all three of them will grow up knowing that I have got time for all of them...

- This is a repost as I still think parents will understand

18 comments:

  1. it is difficult, I feel like this about my oldest at times. It just sort of happens as she is almost 6 years older than the middle child

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  2. I here ya I believe my parents treated us all different I am the oldest I was brought up super strictly, The middle child my brother he gets less of a telling off! but my youngest brother (the third child) cant do wrong and has no rules :P X

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    1. That's always what it was like with my siblings too x

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  3. Aaw bless you, it must be so hard to keep the focus on all three of them. Sounds as though you are doing a fab job though xx

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    1. It is hard work but I'm, starting to get a balance now x

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  4. It's so difficult to get the balance right, having three children and keeping the house running is a hard enough job in it's self, we just have to do the best we can and our children love us for it.

    Kirsty Fox

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    1. Exactly, we are starting to manage a bit more now though which is good x

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  5. I'm sort of a middle child, I am one of four and I'm the third. In a way it's true though, my older sister (the eldest) got a lot of attention because she was quite badly behaved and my younger brother was always rebelling. Together with my older brother (the other middler) we'd just do our own thing, I don't think my parents know to this day the things we got up to!

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  6. I only have the two but I know it was often difficult for my sister with 3 and the middle one did often feel left out.

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    1. It is a big leap between 2 to 3, I'm sure I'll get the balance eventually x

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  7. I think it's difficult to make time for all three individually, but so important. I'd say my middle child is my most demanding. She's my only girl and won't let herself be anything but the focus of attention!

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    1. I can imagine that the different sexes can be hard work as she'll be so different to your boys.

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  8. What you write is so true - I was a middle child and felt the same

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    1. Seems all us middle children feel the same :-)

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  9. I think you are doing a wonderful job,being a mum to three little boys,running a home and all that involves and blogging too.You shouldn't beat yourself up about the middle child scenario,he knows how much you love him and I'm sure that there are a hundred and one little things that you do for him without realising it.However,that little you and Charlie time will be so very special to him,so no more beating yourself up,so what if you don't blog as often as perhaps you used to,the quality is what's important and in that respect you're doing a great job x

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  10. It's always a juggle but i'm sure middle children don't feel too bad after everything :)

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