I know that I show have written this yesterday as that was the official International Baby Loss Awareness Day, but I just couldn't bring myself to writing this until now.
As you all know, I suffered a miscarriage in April this year.
It is, as many other women has gone through the same, such a hard thing to go through and I will never really get over it.
The thought of having a baby growing inside you and then, as I am already a parent, sensing that something is not quite right and just 'knowing' that the pregnancy wasn't going to end well. It's an awful thing to go through.
I would have been nearly 34 weeks now and due around the 1st December.
It will never go away and that's why we have International Baby Loss Awareness Day, to support one another.
I lit my candle at 7pm last night to join the international Wave of Light in memory of my little bean and for all the other little beans that never fully matured.
I posted this poem when I had the miscarriage and still think it suits now and so I'll you with this:
A Lament for My Baby
I never got to hear you laugh, you never saw me cry
Didn't get a chance to say "Hello", you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels before some of them were born.
Your life was short yet special, I shared it all exclusively
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick, You were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel and every angel is divine
God needed one in heaven, he came down and took mine
And although we are not together, we're not really apart
For you'll always occupy a space, deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain, It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello" and heard you say "Goodbye"