Based on my initial scan, today I would have been 20 weeks pregnant.
Half way through our third pregnancy and time to start getting everything sorted.
This week would have been our date to get to see our little bundle again at a scan and hopefully get a glimpse of the sex of our baby.
I won't lie, I'm gutted. Gutted because I wanted a little girl. A mini me who I could dress up in cute dresses and play all the things that I used to play when I was little.
Time to start decorating our spare room into coordinating colours and buying all the baby essentials ready for our arrival.
Clothes, will they be pink or blue? None actually, I hate blue is for boys and pink being for girls so I mix colours a lot. I'm not one of those people that would have everything pink for a girl. I think it looks too much and overbearing but that's just me and my thoughts.
But sadly no, none of this will happen. No one will be buying gender specific clothing, toys and essentials. We won't be getting all giddy going to the gender scan or any other things that we would usually do at around this time.
It's so sad to realise what we have missed out on.