|Charlie's 20 week scan|
Never again will I get to see a babies silhouette on a scan photograph.
Never again will get that first kick and feel so proud.
Never again will I get kicked at 3am and scream at my tummy to go to sleep.
Never again will I get that feeling when I see my baby for the first time.
Never again will I see a first tooth, a first roll, a first crawl, a first step, a first word...
Never again will I get that sensation, just after giving birth, where I feel empty inside... but wait, I do... I feel so empty. No baby, but not in a good way. I'm not getting to meet my baby and it just dawned on me how gutted I actually am.
Why me? Why us? I've had 2 perfect little boys so why not another now? What's wrong with me? Will I ever get over it?
I know you'll probably think I'm been over dramatic, well I wasn't that far, but in fact, when you think about it, I would have been going for a scan this week. I would now be nearly 12 weeks gone. 3 months into my pregnancy.
Getting used to being a family of five but no... not any more...